It was just you and me this afternoon. On the rare occasions that I get time to lavish all my attention on you I’m always shocked by how much more aware and alert you have become, somehow without me even realising. Every time this happens I’m always caught off-guard and I’m suddenly reminded of how fast you are growing up. It’s like I still see you as my baby and I’m too busy to notice that you’re something else now. This is a new thing for me. I had (what now seems like) all the time in the world to sit and play with your sister and I was never caught off-guard in the same manner. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not being able to give you the same amount of attention. It makes the loss of your babyhood all the more painful for me.