Childhood Unplugged: August

Change. I’ve got to say, I’m not really a fan. And I’m not great with dealing with my emotions as they arise. I’m more of a ‘suppress and bury them deep down until the bubble up from my subconscious in scary ways six moths or even years later’ sort of person. Not being able to deal with my baby growing up and going to school (and just the general impermanence of everything) has been taking a toll on me lately. On the weekends we go out and about and everything is almost like it used to be. Almost. We have those two brief days of mulling around, getting up late and maybe taking an afternoon trip to the beach. But there is always that moment come Sunday afternoon when I remember that I have to return her to school the next day and I suddenly feel a bit
melancholy. I miss her. I miss her childhood. Even her brother springs back to life when they are reunited at the end of a long school day. That’s not to say that I’m not happy for her or proud of her. I’m so, so proud of her. And I’m excited for whats still to come. It’s just hard letting go, you know? It’s undoubtedly been the hardest part of this whole motherhood thing thus far.